Ring Around the Mountain

In the journey of life I find myself all too often assessing and obsessing about truths and knowledge of the truth, continuously trying to take the next step back and make that final "What does it all mean?" statement...believing that some "big bang" revelation is going to drop on me like a grand piano.
Man, what an exhausting way to live....I think "If I could just get it!", " The next time..!!" and so on.  I have realized that the tension that I feel in this is not what I had supposed. The idea that one day I'm gonna have enough, be enough, know enough, be strong enough to climb that impossible hill; exhausting all my efforts, but finally making it to the top to see, realize, arrive at.. the end.... it isn't true.  I can never get their. I can't ever see the whole thing.
When I was little we used to sing that song "she'll be coming around that mountain when she come's". As a little boy full of imagination and hours of epics like Zorro, The Last of the Mohicans, and Batman, I always pictured "she" as a ferocious caped crusader, side-winding around a narrow cliffs edge, with hair blowing and face full of intensity, the crack-peel of thunder as "she" snaps the whip on the horse's backside and pics up even more speed and turbulence (kids have the most fun).
This imagery is all too familiar to me. I think we can go through life living like this, going around and around the magnanimous mystery believing we just might be able to see or understand the whole thing, the elusive "Big Picture". The painful truth is that we cannot.
But to deny the innate desire in all of us to know, realize, and arrive is to deny our own divine existence. God has sown us together with this fabric and has every intention  to fulfill the deepest longings of the heart; even the un-named formless beacons of hopeful desire that lie within us.
"So, if not for all of this, then what? How?" is what I ask moment by moment.
"The answer," God says with a warm secure look is "Who".

YAHWEH, GOD in all of His Magnificence, in His indescribable Omnipotence,  Magnitude, and Glory made the most incredible design. The way to Him is through Him. It's in the fragility of a relationship, one on one. Nothing else. The thought of this is immediately overwhelming, because of the simple reality that I myself am a terrific failure. God however is not. We would almost choose death by exhausting every other avenue than turn and face our Maker who is a man, who is God, and gentle, full of every good thing. Whose eyes burn with the most intense love, and whose face radiates with every answer for every longing we have in our created frame. There is no way to dissect it, categorize it, or call it something it isn't. We are to know Him, we are to talk to Him, walk with Him, cry with Him, live with Him, love with Him...be with Him.
Oh, to know the love of Christ....

So if you are the least bit weary from all the running, all the trying and reaching... turn and face Him. Let  Him take you by the hand and lead you into destiny.

Romans 8:39 -"...nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord".